#42 In These Times Your Candy is Calling
by Dr. Jody Kussin April 25, 2020
Funny, the relationships we make along the way. This is a great time to rid ourselves of any ‘toxic’ people in our lives and to embrace those who are positive and loving.
Make new friends and keep the old. And discard the means ones.
Middle Schoolers are very busy with middle school drama. Lots of ‘getting together’ as well as ‘breaking up’ over the past few weeks. It’s a good opportunity to play dress up and try on new friendships and relationships in a ‘less risky’ manner than while in person with one another in a school setting. However, young broken hearts take time to mend, even in the land of zoom ‘dating.’ It’s also a good time to experiment with identity and sexual orientation, given all the romance is in cyber land. Lots of discussions parents were not expecting – ‘Mom, two things – 1) I am pansexual and 2) Can you find the old Legos because I want to play with them.’ Not time for parents to be derisive or dismissive, just good listeners.
Many High Schoolers, on the other hand, are managing social lives fairly well. They are mostly vampires these days, online in the night, sleeping in the day (when their parents give up attempting to rouse them before noon) and enjoying lots of social ‘connections’ from the safety of their beds. They have this down. Less ‘hooking up’ than you’d expect. More commiserating about oppression conditions in houses with siblings and adults under one roof for weeks on end, with no end actually in sight.
In addition to taking our temperatures in order to enter Trader Joes, I recommend you take your emotional temperature a few times a day and/or, take your kids’. Get a read on how everyone is doing. We have our ups and downs. This does not mean we have bipolar disorder, although some of us do. It does not mean we are clinically depressed or anxious, although some of us are. It means we are humans living through history and not happy to be totally powerless. Figure out where your children are regarding these kinds of fevers and respect their needs for privacy and anticipate when is a good night for charades. Better yet, your family versus your sister’s family so cousins and relatives can ‘see each other’ and share some laughs.
In these times, I too am reviewing my ‘contact lists.’ I notice that my newest and closest friends include the online ‘folk.’
In particular, I reference here my sweet ties with See’s Candies. Yes, we are on an ‘email every few hours’ basis, and I could not be prouder. This is a sustainable committed relationship for sure.
My relationship with See’s goes way back, to childhood, where all festive events included See’s. We are a family fond of scotch mallows (me) and bordeauxs (most of the rest of my family of origin) and almost all varieties of See’s (except truffles – no truffles for sure.) We rely on these treats not only for celebrating good times, but also, as companions in hospital waiting rooms and at funeral gatherings. They have been there for us. We ship them cross country to loved ones and carry their special lollipops in purses and backpacks. They are our go-to gifts for holidays, loved ones, and colleagues. Not to mention our go-to for a ‘little something sweet’ at midnight. Just sayin….
You can imagine how upsetting it was, therefore, when on day #11 of Shelter in Place, I received a personal note (okay, mass email letter) from the company stating they were not only shutting down the brick and mortar stores, they also were HALTING PRODUCTION. I was touched, of course, that they reached out to me. But also dismayed and astonished. I heard through back channels (next door app pals) that Oriental Trading Company would be carrying stock from their warehouses, so I quickly went on line to make some totally pertinent purchases, to store in the house and freezer, ‘just in cases.’ I was thrilled to buy four boxes before the dreaded “OUT OF STOCK” sign flashed. Success.
Today I received a notice that they are BACK IN BUSINESS. Yay. That has got be a good sign, right?
And honestly, I have zero need to buy more chocolates. All I needed was to know that I COULD, if I WANTED to.
Sometimes what we need is KNOWING we have choices, even if we do not exercise our right to participate in the choices. I like living in Los Angeles and knowing I COULD go to the opera, or one of many museums, or any number of clubs. I do not really DO any of those things, but I love the diversity of opportunity afforded me in this city of angels. When not staying safe at home, we have access to concerts across the musical continuum, sporting events of all kinds, snowy mountains for skiing and acres and acres of beaches. Yes, Randy Newman and I ‘love L.A.’ for the access to possibilities
Note: Don’t hate on happies and for sure support the sads.
Meantime, ☎️ Your candy is calling—order and pick up at select shops!